We Only Manage To Listen In Order To Answer

We hear, but we do not listen. We live in a society where we are not always interested in what others have to say. For the only thing that really counts is what we are convinced of. Listening is an action in life that is not always practiced.

According to various studies conducted by Daniel Goleman, individuals who achieve professional success are often people who are more receptive and have a wide range of interests. People who listen and have an ability to create closeness, have more control over situations and have easier access to help from others.

The person who knows how to listen understands when to be quiet. That person notices even the most discreet signs from a person. To speak is a necessity, but being able to listen is an art that not everyone possesses.

Communication is not just based on sending a message between two or more people. Communication also depends on our personality, emotional intelligence and empathy. We encourage you to think about it.

“Mental noise” limits our ability to listen

We talk too much, but do not listen. According to economist and host Otto Sharmer, people should give an opening that comes directly from their heart. In this way, they gain access to the deepest level of their emotional perception and become more receptive.

When nature gave us ears, it was not only for us to hear, but so that we too can learn to listen. So if we in our daily lives can not manage it or are not effective enough, it is because of the interference from this “mental noise”.

• We listen with the autopilot on  and with the habit we have acquired that we do not want others to convince us of things that we obviously already know.

• We are focused on ourselves and on: “but I already know that…”
• We often limit our ability to listen, and listen only to that which selectively confirms our beliefs.

If the fundamental law of human relations is our ability to find a connection between us, we should put this individuality aside – the individualism where the base consists of a wall around the word “I” – in order to allow a full opening into our world. We will explain it now.

It is an art when we listen from the heart

Wilbur Schramm, a prominent expert in communication models, explains that when establishing a dialogue , what matters is not the message itself, but the emotional state of the parties. It can be summed up as: “I respond to what I feel and do not do it based on what I hear.”

Our minds talk to us all the time. It intertwines thoughts from the past, dreams that are unattainable, fears, opinions that are limited, strict beliefs, worries and feelings. Sometimes it is almost impossible to break away from all of this when we need to feel connected to the person in front of us.

If your thoughts always catch you with all its noise, how do you think your ability to listen will be? 

Put a damper on your tanks and brake down

As you know, “slow” motion is in vogue. It is, in fact, a philosophy that one should embrace. Because we usually need our lives to move fast.

Think about your ability to slow down and take control of what overwhelms you. Free your thoughts so that you can fully appreciate the present. Disconnect the noise from the outside every day (telephone, traffic, TV) so you can work on your internal noise and clean out.

Develop your intuition

What does intuition have to do with our ability to listen? If you are intuitive, you have the ability to assume something before you have listened. It is the ability to know when to listen with an open heart and a clear mind without prejudice and preconceived beliefs.

Sometimes it’s enough to just look at the person talking, with a smile and a genuine look. Then the person can see that you understand them. Feeling the feelings of others is about using empathy in our conversations. It is about offering closeness and understanding. A t know how to feel about having the ability to say everything that should be said at the right time and not get stuck with:  “I should have told you. I should have said yes or no to that. We should have tried again… ”

Be receptive to the views of others. Allow yourself to feel and learn

We talk too much and do not listen to those around us as we should. Although their opinion and experiences could in fact be in our interest and enrich us.

We live in a society where we are more interested in what our friends post on social media than seeing them in real life and hearing what they have to tell us. Be receptive to everything around you, open your mind and allow yourself to be more free, more curious. Sometimes a normal conversation can give you a revelation, a true personal change. Challenge yourself to experience it.

Listening is like feeling that the other person is a part of us, without barriers and with empathy, freely and honestly embracing their presence…