The Burden Of Being The Best

Being the best at something is not always as positive as some people think. People who are very good at something can end up feeling rejected, ridiculed and even abused. We all know some examples of children who are gifted students. But instead of being admired for it, they become victims of bullying for the other children.

We have all seen how people with great success are not always supported by those around them. Sometimes they fall victim to envy, which is expressed as criticism or mockery of what they do. Sometimes they are even used by people around them who promote their own interests.

There are many women and men who have been the best in their field at some point. But at the same time, they have struggled with loneliness and rejection. Why is this happening? Can it be changed?

When being the best means more commitments

Adriana worked at an educational institution with a great program for bereaved children. Her efforts were exemplary, and by the end of her first year, she received some amazing news. They would give her 30 more children to take care of. “You are the best, so we trust you will do well.” But they no longer paid her in wages or gave her other benefits. They  actually punished her by giving her this ‘reward’.

This also happens in the home. If the elder in the sibling group is better at drawing, then parents will often ask them to help their siblings with their drawings. This also applies to abilities such as being good at language and mathematics. If the youngest is the most responsible, then they will spend the rest of their lives taking on the responsibilities that require the most responsibility.

It is often seen in mothers. They work outside the home, work in the home and have everything ready if needed. But if they fail one day, then the complaints come. It is expected that they do everything perfectly and on time. As a reward for their dedication and perseverance, more demands are constantly made on them. 

Rejected to be the best

In school, there are also other interesting ways to treat the best. They are told that they are nerds and that is certainly meant as a critique, not an acknowledgment. If the best in class does not help all his classmates, then they are largely rejected. If they help everyone, then they will just be exploited by the others. It is as if no matter how you look at it, there is no way out for the best.

Things work the same way in the workplace. The person who knows the most or can do the most must always be ready to help others. Otherwise, they are perceived as unfriendly and are discriminated against and isolated.

This does not only happen to the most intelligent or those with the greatest abilities. The most responsible often end up doing all the work in a group or on a team.  The most understanding person will be the one to mediate in all conflicts or become everyone’s shoulder to cry on. The bravest must perform all the tasks that require courage. As if they were immune. And if these people do not do what is expected of them, then they are accused of being self-absorbed.

Is there a resort?

It is without a doubt a burden to be the best at something. Although they have superior abilities or knowledge, which triggers responsibility, it is also true that many take advantage of this. It burdens these people further. These people who know the most, can do the most or want the most.

In fact, some people who always try to be the best at everything that never rejects a challenge will  feel guilty if they do not live up to the demands of others. They learn to believe that they are responsible for covering up the shortcomings and limitations of others. Therefore, they become overburdened with responsibility, and they become destructively demanding of themselves.

The way out is to learn to set boundaries. All gifts must be shared, but everyone else is responsible for compensating for the services they provide or for the help they provide. Let’s hope that being the best at something does not just give more responsibility. But that it is also compensated with gratitude and consideration.