Not Everything That Meets Us Is Good, Which Can Lead To Overexertion

Not everything that is around us is significant. And not everything that comes our way is necessarily right for us either.  This can lead to overexertion. Applying adequate emotional and psychological filters in our daily lives is going to prevent certain toxins from penetrating us. They’re going to scare the wolf away in sheep’s clothes. And also viruses, which create congestion, stress and bitter experiences.

All of these dimensions are important, but they are not known to be equal. However, in order to better understand what it means not to use these psychological common terms in our daily lives, we will start by talking about overexertion. The most common form of overexertion is the physical kind. And even if one does not believe it, there is actually another kind of overexertion. A form which is more normal among the general population, and which is more chronic.

The emotional overexertion

We are talking here about the emotional overexertion. It is able to create a completely psychosomatic “package” within us where there is no shortage of pain in the neck and back, headaches, digestive problems. Many people simply call it a “burnout”. Having to carry around an emotional overexertion that gets transferred to the physical and eventually makes us trapped can lead to a hidden depression that is not always easy to diagnose.

This reality happens by being completely permeable to everything that comes one’s way. And everything that is around one. If we do not set a barrier or boundary and hide behind a shield when something does us no good, harms us or creates stress in us, then we will be beaten down inside, and overcome by indifference, discouragement and frustration. .

We learn to focus on reality in a different way: we must protect ourselves.

Transparency: a very normal problem

Openness used in human behavior has a concrete and necessary function. We need to be open to what is around us so that we can become wiser  and survive. By filtering what others give us or provide, we can grow, and that is undoubtedly good for us.

Sometimes we get just what we need. And therefore it does not help us to come forward if we hold on to an inflexible thought pattern or a closed mind. Nor will it provide new opportunities for us to become happier. Therefore, we mostly have to struggle with a brain that is programmed to be receptive. G permeable as a sponge that will absorb everything around it.

But, and here the problem begins, what the brain does instinctively does not adapt to what our psychological balance needs. Being receptive does not always lead us to personal progress. On the contrary, it leads us into an emotional decline. It is interesting to recall what Albert Ellis, in his rational emotional behavior therapy, called the “triad of despair.”

According to Ellis , we apply three forms of irrational expectations in our daily lives. They are hopeless and are going to lead us to classic despair.

Along with irrational thoughts that “we should do everything right” or “everyone is always going to treat me the way I want to be treated,” there is also a third aspect we should respond to, and that is to know , “That there is no reason for me to confront what bothers me or worries me.” When we are permeable, we stop confronting what we do not like. We dilute ourselves like water and salt. A mixture that is not acceptable, but that we drink every day. This is not optimal.

If what meets you is not right for you, then protect yourself

How much are you willing to give up without giving up who you are? How far will you go, not to allow others to take you into their personal universe? Not everything that meets you is right for you, nor does it create enough value to become a part of your life.

It is very important that we learn how to set personal boundaries. To learn what this basic strategy entails for our personal growth, visualize for a moment a warm illuminated circle that surrounds us. The area we are in is one that protects us from the outside world. It allows us to connect with others without having to merge with them.

In turn, this magic circle has amazing properties: it is flexible. It allows us to connect with others without losing our identity. It also expands when we see that something or someone is definitely going to allow us to grow without destroying us.

There is always time to heal the open wounds and create a perfect circle

So this circle is clever and tough. When something tries to harm us, it immediately shrinks. Because its barrier is closely linked to our values, our self-esteem and identity. If what comes our way will hurt us, it will not come in without further fuss. These personal boundaries tend to develop throughout our early childhood and adolescence. It is, in turn, very normal that at some point in our lives they have been damaged and opened by force.

That’s okay, that’s not the last thing to have to say. There is always time to fix it. T il to heal the open wounds and to create a perfect circle that is strong and powerful . A circle that is flexible enough to know what is good for us. And what it is best to leave in the hallway with the unexpected guests. In the room with false friends, false dreams and false hopes.

We need to make use of our defense barriers in the right way.