Love Without Suffering Actually Exists

Love means to endure things, love means to resist, love sometimes means suffering. Love means to give without measure . This is what we are all told about love, from a very young age. This causes pressure that leads us to a desperate search for a partner, not to end up alone. If not, we run the risk of wasting our time. But love without suffering also exists.

Within all this talk of love, there is something that no one ever talks to us about . Maybe it’s because no one believes in it . And it is that it is quite possible to love without suffering. In fact, this is the meaning of true love.

Sometimes this urge to find a partner means that we do not choose the right one. Our partner simply becomes the first person we find on the street who is willing to take the role. If you have a very low self-esteem and do not give yourself the value you deserve, this catastrophic attitude is even more likely . Having a romantic partner is not the most important thing in the world. It is not synonymous with happiness. Sometimes it actually becomes a ordeal that is very difficult to bear. One does not believe in love without suffering.

“When you need someone else to make you happy, it’s already clear that being happy is the last thing you want to be.”

Why do people always hurt me?

I do not know if you have ever asked yourself this question, maybe you have. But you are mistaken if you think your suffering is due to an accident. You think that only the bad kind of people will come into your life or that no one will ever love you. Maybe the reason you always run into the same type of person is that you choose them or at least allow them. Think about it. Have you ever rejected someone who really liked you?

Maybe you have a very low self-esteem, maybe you settle for the first person who shows interest in you. Either way, you can interpret the fact that you are getting hurt by thinking about how you are hurting yourself. Why not give yourself the value you really are worth? Why do you cover your eyes when someone tells you how much they like you and dedicate lovely words to you?

We need to change this headline and make it : “Why do I always hurt myself?” Or “Why do I always hurt others?”.

Love is blind…

You probably have some experience with words that are lost in oblivion. Words that lack coherence with the actions that follow them. Words that light you up make you forget reality and immerse you in a dream. A dream where the person is the one you will spend the rest of your life with. The person who will make you happy . You would give everything for the person you would be willing to fight for the relationship. But who said love is not a constant struggle?

“If you enter into a relationship, give 50% of yourself and accept that the other person gives you 20%, do not demand that they give you more over time, because they will not be able to.”

Giving everything for your relationship while the other person gives max 25% will make you doubt how they feel about you. You get worn down. You want to stop thinking about yourself . You will no longer take care of yourself, nor will you dress as you used to unless you are with that person. You will always be aware of them, always try to make them like you, try to please them… Do you still ask yourself why people always end up hurting you?

Choose consciously, love without suffering is possible

Love without suffering is possible if you stop looking at your relationship as something logical or necessary. You need to stop thinking that love can be reduced to pain, effort, struggle, resisting and giving everything for one person. Because, to find love without suffering, you must first know what you want. But above all, you need to learn to be happy, with no one but yourself.

If you are okay with and happy with yourself, then you are ready to be happy with someone else. Because you know that if they go or things do not work out, you will cope and will continue to be happy . Because you were already happy before that person came into your life.

When you know what you want, you know your values. You have discovered the boundaries you do not want anyone to cross… This is where you can choose consciously. Think about whether the person who says the sweet words to you is really the one you want by your side . Let yourself be carried away by your emotions and incipient madness, but do not be fooled. Do not be filled with expectations and hopes for the future that are not realistic. Do not think “Well, he will change over time.” Choose a person based on the present and not based on how you imagine them in the future.

You will probably first think that you are too picky or demanding. Many people around you will tell you that if you continue down this path, you will never find a partner. But if that happens, you know you can handle it. Having someone by your side is not an indispensable condition for being happy.

Finding balance

The best relationship you can create with someone is where you give 50% and the other person gives the remaining 50%. Only then can you have common goals that are not based on need, but on respect and freedom.

We have reached a point where we confuse love with possession, with suffering, with giving everything of itself … This beautiful feeling has become turbulent, and at times it even involves torment. We go into relationships, giving 100%, while the other person gives less than half. And then we expect them to change! We cling so tightly to them that when they start walking away in search of some air, we become nervous and afraid that they will leave us.

Love without suffering becomes possible when we learn to treat our partner as someone who is independent of ourselves. Like a person who has come into our lives but who can choose to walk or distance himself from us. Just like a friend or a sibling can . Your life, your happiness can not depend on having someone by your side or not . Because the only person you will be able to count on until the end is none other than yourself.