Arrogance Is Often Behind Tantrums

Frequent tantrums often hide arrogance. Arrogant people must always be right, do not tolerate contradictions or corrections, and are also constantly victims of their own frustration. It is important to point out that narcissism often lies behind pride and forms a very exhausting type of personality.

We know that it is difficult for arrogant people to see “what they are doing wrong” . They probably will not because their nose is so close to the mirror that they can not even see themselves. But we have become so accustomed to this type of presence in our environments that almost without realizing it, we have ended up normalizing narcissism and arrogance. We see this in politicians, we see it in companies, and we even see it in parts of new generations.

“It is easier to write against arrogance than to overcome it.”
-Francisco de Quevedo-

An arrogant person, no matter how old they are, “knows everything” and no one can teach or show them anything because “it’s on their resume”. They often also put the needs of others behind them and may have an emotional maturity as a 6-year-old child.

Those who deal with them daily are already familiar with their frequent anger. They have very thick skin and very swollen pride. They get angry at the slightest and they lose control. They usually show behaviors like not talking to you for a while. Or they carry grudges if someone disturbs them, in a small and insignificant way…

Frequent tantrums and what lies beneath a mask of arrogance

Arrogance is always a mask, a hedgehog-like disguise, where the spikes act as a defensive wall so no one can see fear, character flaws and weaknesses. For example, if someone tells me I need to be more patient and take things slow, I will not hesitate to take my shield out and raise my spikes (they have questioned my good work). It also does not matter if they meant the comment in a good sense – I will take it as an insult.

Self-esteem is low with this type of personality. But this feeling of inferiority is often transformed into a source of aggression. A catapult charged with anger, defiance, and bitter frustration. As well as the need to be better than everyone in any situation or circumstance becomes a “false authority” . Where no one should discredit them, where contradicting them, even the most insignificant things, is offensive.

For these personalities, pride is a sophisticated reward system. The most interesting thing is that this suit full of spikes is usually created in childhood, as a way to hide uncertainties. Later it becomes a way to respond to problems or disappointments. This is because arrogant personalities exploit arrogance and aggression to mark their territory in order to find validation.

But what arrogant people really get is the distance between themselves and others. They have a vicious circle of superficial relationships.

What should we do when faced with people who often have tantrums?

Behind frequent anger is a clear problem with emotional control, self-esteem and psychological balance. No one can live under chronic anger, wrapped in a lion’s mane and roaring all the time. Therefore, if we have a person in our environment who fits this description, there is one thing that needs to be clear. The problem is not yours and you are not the cause of their discomfort. The problem is, in fact, theirs.

“Anyone can get angry – it’s easy, but being angry at the right person, at the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way – it’s not within everyone’s power and is not easy ”.

–Aristoteles–

When anger becomes a way of being, nothing develops around these people. Even if they have arrogance and narcissism beneath the surface who want to control everything and take all the benefits, the best thing we can do is remove ourselves and not waste our energy with confrontation.

This is because pride cannot be cured by quarreling, only by allowing the proud person to eventually look at himself in the mirror. They need to get rid of their lion mouth and hedgehog costume. Beneath all these skins are their vulnerabilities, their holes of emptiness, labyrinths of insecurity, and even their frightened inner child who continues to react with anger to what they do not like.

Frequent anger is, believe it or not, a part of daily life for many adults. Therefore, it is worth investing time, attention and a good dose of love in our children. We need to teach them how to love and how to tolerate frustration.

Let’s deal with these situations – teach your children that.